I don’t have any sisters, but I consider one of my cousins to be a sister. She’s the one I vent to about DH, work, family and pretty much everything else. But for some reason, I didn’t feel comfortable telling her that we were having problems TTC. It could be because in the beginning, I was telling her about my TTC apps, BBT, EWCM, and all the fun technical stuff that no one finds interesting unless you were actually TTC. Instead of being supportive, she told me to relax….multiple times. She didn’t believe me when I suspected we had problems. Eventually, I just stopped telling her about TTC.
Instead I turned to one of my best friends, her dad was an OB/GYN. I told her all the details, and she understood, even though she has no interest in having children right now. I spill all the medical details to her, asking her what she thinks, and what we should do. I turned to her when DH was having his meltdown. She even asked her dad questions for me when he was really ill. She’s also offered to help us choose sperm donors if that’s where we were going to go. She’s also the one to spill the beans on DH’s low sperm count through my group chat with her and my cousin.
My cousin reached out the next day. It had probably been a few months since we last talked about my TTC. I told her what’s been going on, this was around the time we found out about DH’s chromosomal abnormality. This time around, she was more understanding. She stopped telling me to relax, and realized that there was a real problem we were dealing with.
We were waiting for a table for dinner last week, and I was scrolling through my blog feed, and she asked me what I was reading, and I told her I was reading about the grim realities of IVF. There are a lot of successes, but there are also a lot of failures. She asked more detailed questions, we’re both very practical people, so I understood where she was coming from. She was also very supportive when DH had his breakdown, and she offered to go with me to appointments if DH couldn’t take time off his new job. I didn’t really expect that from her. It was so out of the blue, but it was one of the nicest gestures she could have offered.
I’m rambling now, but I just wanted to write this post to express my gratitude to the people in my life who are supportive, and understanding. My IRL peeps don’t know about this blog, so they won’t know every little detail, but I hope they understand that while I don’t like to talk about it much, I am grateful that they are there for me.