I saw this image on my Instagram feed yesterday just after DH and I had a chat about how he was feeling. If I had saw this image before our conversation, I would be all for it. But alas, I saw it after, and I just felt defeated. At the end of our conversation, well, I ended the conversation, DH said “well, we’re not having kids any time soon anyway”. To which I said, “we could be trying to have kids, and could have a child by next year if you wanted to”. The only response I got was a shrug.
Which brings me back to the quote. You can only choose to start living your dream if your dream is not dependent on someone else.
That little sentence from DH devastated me. We were having dinner at a restaurant during the conversation, and I couldn’t even look at him. Of course since he’s a man, he doesn’t know why I’ve suddenly stopped talking. He knew something was wrong, and he asked if I was okay. But I couldn’t say what was bothering me without bursting into uncontrollable sobs. So instead I said nothing was the matter, and saved my tears for the bathroom when I got home.
I might be overprotective about his anxiety, and mental health, but I just don’t think he can handle dealing with me being upset in addition to the problems and worries that he already has.
I want to thank everyone who has been commenting on my posts. Your comments have been so supportive and uplifting. I know I can always pour my heart out here.