The deed is done

It’s done! DH quit his job today. We are now officially a one income family – with me as the breadwinner. I never thought I would be in this position. DH and I have had a couple yelling matches about what his next move should be. I think he should be looking for jobs that’s related to what he wants to do. Whereas, he just wants a job because he wants to work. He thinks it’s bad to have a gap in his resume, so he’d rather take any old job. I completely disagree with him. I think he should take some time off, and figure out what he truly wants to do, and then start applying for work. He’s also talked about going back to school before, so I’m trying to encourage him to do one or two courses at the local college to see if it’s something he wants to pursue full time.

This is the first time God has truly tested us. It’s been rough, but I know in my heart we will come out stronger.

New consult scheduled!

We have an appointment with a new fertility clinic! I’m so excited to visit another facility so that we can compare and figure out who’s the best fit for us. The original urologist that DH was supposed to see also works out of this clinic, and the scheduling clerk was able to give us an appointment with him too! We can finally get a second opinion! We’ve tried to see this urologist originally at Olive Fertility, but his schedule there didn’t match DH’s work schedule, so he was sent to the other doctor. When we decided to get a second opinion, we tried to get this doctor again, but at his independent practice, but we never heard back from his office. It’s been over 6 weeks! Continue reading

I can’t…

DH didn’t go to work again, so that’s two days in a row of calling in sick. I know he’s been struggling, and he needed to make a decision on what he wanted to do. So he’s decided to quit his job flat out. I wanted him to take short-term disability instead of quitting his job. But he just won’t. He’s too afraid of what people will think. He’s too proud to claim he has a disability. This really frustrates me because it feels like he didn’t listen to what I said at all. He had a chat with his parents today, and his mom doesn’t think he should take disability, so his mind was made.Sadness Continue reading

The Internet is my Infertility Frenemy

Before we even started TTC (or even married!), my SIL gave me her copy of Taking Charge Of Your Fertility. I read that book cover to cover in a couple days, and that’s when I started tracking my cycles. I was just doing it for fun at first, but quickly became obsessed with tracking my temperature, cervical mucus, and eventually my cervix.Dr. Google Continue reading

I don’t need to have children

I discovered today that my 31, almost 32 year old husband is like a 4 year old child. He was recently prescribed anti-depressants to help him with his anxiety, and depression. He was instructed by his doctor twice, not once, but twice, that he should only take half a pill because he did not feel well after taking one full pill. So what happens today? He takes one full pill by mistake because he said he wasn’t “thinking”. To be honest, I think he was just too lazy to cut the pill in half, and thought he can handle it since he’s been taking the pills for about three weeks.Patience Continue reading

Today is the perfect day to start living your dreams…or not.

I saw this image on my Instagram feed yesterday just after DH and I had a chat about how he was feeling. If I had saw this image before our conversation, I would be all for it. But alas, I saw it after, and I just felt defeated. At the end of our conversation, well, I ended the conversation, DH said “well, we’re not having kids any time soon anyway”. To which I said, “we could be trying to have kids, and could have a child by next year if you wanted to”. The only response I got was a shrug. Continue reading

How did you know your clinic was "the one"?

We have only been to one fertility clinic for a consult. The experience was fine, the clinic was really nice, and our patient coordinator has been so helpful. However, DH found that they were really pushy in getting us to start IVF right away. The urologist he met with also practiced out of the same clinic, and he was also very pushy towards IVF.

I’ve read that for IUI to be one of the potential methods, DH needs at least 5 million sperms so there will still be a substantial number after the wash. DH’s sperm counts are LOW, at 1 million, so I wasn’t as surprised that they were pushing for IVF.

I’ve put in a request to go to another fertility clinic. So here we are waiting again. How many clinics did you consult with before find the one? How did you know it was the one?


Check out the Link Up over at Amateur Nester!

Chromosomal Defect…Say WHAT?

In the midst of dealing with DH’s depression diagnosis, he also got a call from our fertility doctor about a cytogenetics test he took when he met with the urologist. The test showed that DH has a paracentric inversion of chromosome 1.

I had, still have, no idea what this means. DH has been referred to a geneticist, but it will probably be weeks, if not months, before we get an appointment.

Of course, I had to turn to Google.
From what I found, there are two types of inversions, pericentric and paracentric. There are two sections to a chromosome. A pericentric inversion is when the inversion happens on the centromere, I guess the connection between the two sections. Whereas a paracentric inversion happens on one of the tails.

I don’t know what this means for us. I know that chromosomal defects can cause miscarriage. A defect in chromosome 1 can also cause severe mental retardation. Chromosome 1 is also the largest chromosome in our DNA. DH is healthy (except for his sperm and diabetes), so I’m not sure how this inversion affects him. All we can do now is wait for our appointment with the geneticist.

Wham Bam! Your World is Crumbling Ma’am!

The only thing I can do is think of a funny title. It’s been a little over a week since my world has come crashing down. As you know, DH has an extremely low sperm count. I was beginning to be comfortable with that. He still has sperm, so IVF is an option. It will be a very trying, and expensive process, but it is still an option.

Then, last Monday happened…

DH has been really stressed, and exhausted the last few months. He started a new job at the beginning of the year, and it’s been hard for him to not be the big fish in a small pond anymore. He was so excited to start this new job, he had nothing but positive, and grand things to say about his new employer…before he even started to work. Continue reading